Self-Esteem and Dating
In the past few days I’ve been asked A LOT about self-esteem. I think the best way to figure out whether or not you have low self-esteem (or conversely, high self-esteem) is best stated this way:
- Practice a larger-than-normal amount of negative self talk, such as, “Why would anyone ever want to date me?” or, “I don’t deserve a loving partner”;
- Act destructively towards oneself and/or others, such as self-sabotaging behaviors or being overly critical;
- Apologize frequently and/or exhibit self-doubting behaviors;
- Need constant feedback from outside sources;
- Unable to receive or accept compliments;
- Focus on one’s perceived flaws; and
- Become so much of a perfectionist that basic tasks don’t get finished for fear of failure.
(Taken from Low Self Esteem and How It Affects Dating Relationships at About.com.)
In the simplest terms, having low self-esteem means that you genuinely feel unconfident that you can perform a task or that you are unconfident about your own character.
High self-esteem, on the other hand, means that you are confident of your own abilities and strengths. You can be aware of your flaws, and as such can compensate for them without overcompensating on other tasks.
The reason I bring up the topic of self-esteem is that when someone is looking for a potential partner to date, they generally look for someone who is confident. Confident people are usually interesting because they know where they have been (as should we all), where they are standing (this gets a little foggier, but you should be able to see a few feet around you), and they know in what (general) direction they want to travel in.
So if you have a problem with self-esteem, take a deep breath. What’s the matter? You’re not going to do that because it would make you look stupid? Afraid you might look stupid in front of yourself? Get over it! Looking stupid is a part of life. Live with it.
Now once you’re done with that, change your hair, change your clothing, change something in some manner that you’ve wanted to do. Heck, get a tattoo even. Work out. Do something that might garner some notice from someone else, but don’t rely on that. Did you want to be an airplane pilot as a child? Go take flying lessons next weekend!
The key to raising your self-esteem is to do something different as much as you can. This includes (gasp) meeting new people as well!
This x That:
Know This:
- BP CEO Tony Hayward: “I’d like my life back.”
- Al and Tipper Gore to separate after 40 years of marriage; affair rumors dismissed.
- Five Al-Jazeera anchorwomen accused of immodesty for leaving hair uncovered walk out on news network.
- This Is Not A Repeat from 1984: Supreme Court says crime suspects must speak up to uphold right to remain silent.
- RIP: Chris Haney, Trivial Pursuit co-creator, dead at 58. Also: Sculptor Louise Bourgeois, at 98.
Read This:
- Man with no arms or legs plans to swim the English Channel. And what have you done lately?
- Lost dude chops down power poles, rescued by utility workers.
Look At This:
- Infographic: How Our Laws Are Made. (via.)
- DC Comics and colette team up to celebrate the comic book company’s 75th anniversary with a ridiculously over-priced line of fashion accessories.
The Other:
- Techland: Mario Kart RC Cars Let You Virtually Shoot Other Players.
- Tea x Time List: 7 Weird Foods (Served While the Animal is Alive).
- Above: “Mario Brothers - BP Oil Edition” by Zero-Lives. (via.)
Haha, I loved this post. :)
:-)
The Biggest Tip…
Be yourself! (Unless you’re a jerk, then try to change that beforehand!) Girls love guys who can be assertive, polite and caring. (And I don’t mean caring as in the “ahem” fashionable way either.)
Sometimes.. it’s kind of like this.
Tips for Dating Girls at Online D8 →
Contained therein are some very exciting and fun to read dating advice, generally without that exhaustive cautious approach that I’ve seen a lot of websites contain. (In other words, this gets results! Hah.)
The Purpose of this Tumblr Blog
I know I’m writing this somewhat “backwards”, but the purpose of this blog is to write some quick, informative tips for dating girls. I’m not sure what to write about yet. (Okay, I have little to no idea what to write about without addressing ranting about the spam emails I get in my inbox trying to convince me of fabulous appendage-enhancing products for cheap from Russia.)
Anyway, feel free to comment or send me a message. I’ll probably be reading, so don’t get too angry if I don’t respond for a few days (weeks or months).
Tips for Attracting Girls
Sometimes it seems impossible to understand what a girl wants. How can you get inside of their heads and know what to do in order to make them fall for you? Most would say that dating is all about luck, but it’s not. Just like learning to ride a car or a bicycle, there are ways to approach dating so that you are successful. (In this blog, let’s just say “successful” ends with finding your partner, making them happy, and having them reciprocate that happiness.)
That is why I’m going to start off this Tumblr that will contain tips for dating girls with tips on attracting girls.
Forget money, forget looks, forget everything Hollywood has taught you about attracting women. There are four things that girls who will make you happy love above all else: Humor, Suaveness, Charitableness, and Charisma.
In order to be able to use humor, make some light-hearted jokes. Simple, “Knock, knock” jokes with a twist are a great way to get started with this.
Suaveness, which includes being able to be cool-headed under pressure, is another impressive trait that girls love. But be careful, don’t be so suave that you end up being pompous.
Charitableness often falls hand-in-hand with charisma. Because charity requires human interaction, you should be upbeat. Try to be suave and humorous to whomever you help. The old adage “you reap what you sow” applies here.
